I remember after having my kundalini awakening experience…over the course of the next six or seven months, things were so intense. Energy was just coursing through my body…I was in a contant state of hyperawareness and “knowing”. It was really awesome. That was a few years ago now, and since then the energy is still always there but I am more accustomed to it..it’s my “normal” now.
Anyway, while I was still getting used to the new and improved me, I had some really extraordinary “phenomena” happen…and I started to wonder if I was “special”….a special person given special powers to do special things. So I went into meditation on that. The answer I got back was “what did you expect when you started to interact with God”. That was a profound revelation for me and it made perfect sense. I am far less of an ass than I would have been because of it.
Weirdly, I have met two people who never got the memo…and both have come to believe they are gods. The first one thought she was Jesus. She had guru juju…where she could project love….she talked in an airy/trancy sort of voice so everyone would know her message was coming from “a higher place”. She wanted to spread “love”. We were friends for about two months before her “love” became so toxic that she was completely intolerable. God there was a lot of drama…she was all about purging your emotions through communication…talking talking talking…and crying crying crying. Pleh.
She told us that on her 33rd birthday, like Jesus, she would die. She didn’t…so she left town, had a baby and got married. I can’t even tell you what a trip that was. Before she didn’t die I got really mad at her and told her “enlightened is as enlightened does” and spreading love without compassion is just throwing garbage into the garden without letting it compost. I suggested that before she spread anymore love she stop in her tracks, turn around and look at the trail of broken hearts and lives she’s left in her wake.
On her birthday she said she confronted a demon instead of dying and it changed everything for her. I think I know what actually happened. In the course of my meditations I have explored different parts of the brain and how they react to the spinning energy when you focus it in different areas. When you get too close to the bits that control the sympathetic nervous system your “survival” drive kicks into gear and what you get are creatures from the darkest parts of your subconscious…running you off so you don’t inadvertantly stop your heart or something. I think she started fishing around her brainstem and got more than she bargained for.
The other person I know who thinks she is god…wow. She’s a big visionary person…she has prophetic dreams and sees things all the time. She talks a good game…but she’s completely narcissistic. Everything she does…right or wrong is justified because she’s god and has a destiny. OK…right there…how could god have a destiny? Isn’t god all ready everything? She thinks she sees and knows everything. It’s annoying…everytime you have a conversation with her she’s had a dream about it. She works very hard to make sure that everyone knows her dreams so that when they happen she’d validated. Why would god need validation? Her dreams are amazing…and she sees a lot and she’s wrong a lot. I have amazing dreams, I see a lot and am wrong a lot. There are many many people who have amazing visions, premonitions, who respond to cries for help in spirit form, who just know a lot of stuff that shouldn’t be “knowable”. The have amazing visions…they see a lot, and they are wrong a lot.
She also believes her experiences are more profound than other people’s…she had a thing happen where she felt how long the water had been on the planet…from the water in her body to the water hitting her in the shower to the water in the ocean…she could feel it back to the dinosaurs. Which is a pretty rockin experience. I had one where I was the life force in every cell…traveling up the roots of grass and into trees…living photosynthesis…feeling how life “is” in every living thing. Which was also a pretty rockin experience…but she contends her vision is different somehow…more…and if I were her then I would “know”. There are many examples of this kind of nonsense.
It’s stupid. Attaining great levels of awareness doesn’t seem to change a person at their core the way one would think it might. This is why I am down on gurus. I have attained very high levels of consciousness but it doesn’t prevent me from doing dumb stuff. It just give me perspective on the relative smallness of the things we hold so dear. Knowing the dumb things are small ripples in a very big ocean.
So, here is my advice: if you run across someone who claims to be god, make them turn water into wine….and if they can, then start a winery and put them to work, because if god is here in form he/she’s going to have to make a living like they rest of us or they’ll end up sleeping on your sofa. And there is no greater pain in the ass than god on your sofa.
2 Comments
May 13, 2008 at 10:09 pm
Do you have any advise on kundalini awaking? I have mine last year and to this day, the energy is still very strong. Would the energy go away or become less as time go by?
May 13, 2008 at 10:39 pm
I guess my first question would be, how do you know you have had an awakening experience? Prior to awakening there are a lot of experiences people think are awakenings but they aren’t.
Second, from what I understand and have experienced, the energy doesn’t go away…but it’s a journey that once you begin doesn’t end, you just get used to it.
The way it seems to work is that it spins in areas where you are holding onto ideas or energies that are out of alignment with the Great Truth. It works on every level of your being to bring you, your mind and your spirit into alignment with what is known and unknown in the rhythm of the unversal flow.
It’s a challenge for a person…a being with a very narrow view…how ever large minded they think they are…to grasp everything that unfolds within you as the energy of Kundalini does it’s thing. A lot of times it just take distance to understand what’s happened to me or what one experience or another was for.
I know from where I am now…the bits of self I held dear are being eroded away as the energy works its way through my being.
That sounds like it might be a bad thing but it’s not…it’s calming, most of the time. Calming isn’ t a great word for it. It’s more like fulfillment from the inside out.
There’s some frustration though too…
.50 and Kundalini Rising won’t buy you a cup of coffee, or do the dishes.
I used to want to use “my powers” to do this or that and now it’s clear there’s nothing to do but do what I do. By being now and in this state is paves the way for more of this energy to be experienced here, in this time/place.
If you have in fact had an awakening experience you are looking at 20+ years of growing awareness, understanding and shifting perspective. If you lie to yourself you will find you are at odds with this Universal Powerhouse and it will cost you in strange ways. As you are in alignment things will flow…but beware the delusion of flow….because it’s easy to create that into a “thing” too. There is no-thing.
Walk lightly, hold to the Truth, know what you know. Also know that very, very few people you ever meet will know what you are going through (in spite of this they’ll have a lot to say about it). Actually once you settle in that realization, things get easier. You stop trying to explain or hope that a person you meet know something of what you are going through.
I wish you the best on your journey.
Namaste,
Jewls